I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what was hitlers rap album called? straight outta mein kampfton

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats an Anti Joke

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call the twin towers? An airport

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops