What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

thumb_up thumb_down +49

, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's Brown and Sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

0123456789

thumb_up thumb_down +37

ecks! why zee?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

look at this bag of air it has some chips in it

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops