hey bill!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

And then i said what about breakfast at tiffanies, and then you said i hate that movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do people make antijokes? Because they can

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over? Colors

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

thumb_up thumb_down +2

give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops