Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

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Hgiugsf s8dyfgc sdyhgd©•øˆ????ª•†®???ßßs cdiug dvyg 34t5 fd87 vrry utgg erug 46 5gtyrue fVTU? Tree.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A stick.

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What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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