I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

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What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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jack shine and keiran = nate robinson

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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