My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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poop is very very yummy.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Pickles

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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