- Anti Joke

a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

DIY LOLOBJECTIFACEPASSED OUT PHOTOSRATE MY EX GIRLFRIENDREPUBLICAN EQUALSSCUMBAG STEVE CHECK OUT OUR IPHONE APP! POPULAR NEWEST RANDOM WRITE YOUR OWN! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! Pictures From Our Other Sites OBJECTIFACE SHIT BRIX JAPAN IS WEIRD SPOILED PHOTOS RATE MY BATTLESTATION TATTOO FAILURE Quotes From Other Sites “Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to....” via: Clarksonisms “Flavorless jelly beans...” via: Pointless Inventions “the power to glow fainlty in broad daylight.” via: Pointless Super Powers “When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I....” via: Things You Think Only You Do “Why did the blonde drown in the pool? Because a person tied an anvil to her leg and dropped it in the deep end of....” via: ethugtxt Anti-Pickup LineClarksonismsethugtxtPointless InventionsPointless Super Powers Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2011 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

poop is very very yummy.

Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

Girls Basketball.

What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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