why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

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what do you call a group of people who are systematiclly ruining a once well run family football club? steve kean , the venkys, and there advisors

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

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Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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I said I hate niiggers

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pineapples

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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