do you wanna hear a joke about pizza? sure. naw,its too cheesy

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the clown go to the hospital? i hit him in the leg with an axe.

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Woman.

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Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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