What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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nba live 13

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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That's not what she said.

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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69

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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