matty russel are you on here

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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poop is very very yummy.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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Lol! Why you wanna know?

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Yes.

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Wanna hear a joke? Justin bieber

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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