Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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this is not a joke

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hello

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

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What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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Guess What! HI!

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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