What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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