How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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Bob: why didthe chicken cross the road? Tom: why? Bob: to get to your house Knock knock Tom: whos their Bob: the chicken

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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i have yougurt with tractor

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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What did the prostitute say to the nun? It's nice to see you again, Sister.

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There were 4 black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff. The sad thing was it was a nice car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly 10 consecutive times in the head with a knife.

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops