Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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What is Worse than the holocaust?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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Why did the girl fall off a cliff? Because it was an Anti-Joke.

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whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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matty russel are you on here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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