What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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How did the asian find his family? He didn't because they all look the same.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

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How are you? Yes

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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why was the boy running? because his skin was burning off

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You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

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person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

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Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

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wanna hear a joke? women rights. -ZombieUr

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Q: What did the Kool-Aid Man say when he crashed through a wall? A: "OW! That hurt!"

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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Please Rape William Wright

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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