whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Samantha

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

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Penis

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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