Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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shauns beautiful

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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Your mama's so fat.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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HI MY NAME IS DOUG

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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