Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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poop is very very yummy.

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How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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cancer

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Lol! Why you wanna know?

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If you're reading this, you can read.

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Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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