Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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Deadly cancer.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Chuck Norris is an average human being!

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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