Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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Kathy Griffin.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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One time I masturbated by myself

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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Whats worse then losing your phone? The Holocaust

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

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Nicolas Cage's acting.

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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