Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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Do u liek mudkipz GO TROLLING

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops