Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

thumb_up thumb_down +10

More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops