"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

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Is this where I type the joke?

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why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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