What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

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a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

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hey guys what's up?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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you just contradicted yourself.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Your mom is so hairy that she must not feel comfortable in her everyday life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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