how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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YOU

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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