What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

Two boys were walking down a building which was under construction. Suddenly a brick hits the 1 one in the head while the 2 guys aunt was in America.

united we sit, cause we're fat

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

Old guitars sound like cat's guts

What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

Why is jim gay? because he likes men

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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