I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Spotto

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

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pickle juice?

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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