Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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A black man in a country bar.

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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