A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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