If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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The 13th Amendment...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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