There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

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What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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A.how does a penguin change a light bulb? A.the same way all other penguins change a lightbulb

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

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What's really weird? It's you Greg!

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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This is not mean't to be a joke, but I have noticed the least popular thing on here is the Jew and the Pizza joke. I am Jewish and find this extremely offensive. I applaud all of those who gave it a negative vote and realize the Holocaust is not a laughing matter.

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what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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Barack Obama

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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