Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Why did the jew die Really...

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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A man made a sandwich.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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i cant think of one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops