A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

thumb_up thumb_down +22

bitches be crafty.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

my namew is jd

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops