1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna know something fishy? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mama so stupid She took in part of an experiment and was indeed proclaimed stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You smell like shit

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's 6 + 9? 15.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops