What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

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Whats worse then getting caught in the rain with no umbrella? Aids.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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Roses are red violets are blue i got two fingers just for you/by kw

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, you racist.

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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