how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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