How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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Matt is not funny.

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What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Have you seen the movie "Constipation?" No. It hasn't come out yet! Of course there is no such movie in production and no plans for such a movie exist.

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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Badgers are cool

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops