Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane?? a pilot ,you racist!

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

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Knock knock Whoes there? ...

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Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops