A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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Vagina ass.

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*insert joke here*

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

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What's big and fat? An obese man.

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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