What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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who hooks up with grade 7's? •Jake Muchnik

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four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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knock knock come in

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops