Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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Wade's the father

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Men, get on the boat.

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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man boobs

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YOLO.

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A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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