Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops