What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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Why is Roenz Gay? He isnt.

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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