Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

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What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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Yes. Just Yes.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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What's cold and icy? Ice

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A boy has enough money to buy an xbox and a game, but when he reaches the store he is no longer able to buy an xbox and a game, how is this possible? He didnt really have enough money to buy an xbox and a game.

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knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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