A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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