How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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men, men like men= men+bed

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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Knock Knock.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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