This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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A snake walks into a bar

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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Why did the old man fall off a bicycle? He had a fridge thrown at him.

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why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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Many people of many races do many things every day.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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eloise dey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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