my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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26 because if 25 is funnier than 24, 26 should be even funnier right?

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why do people make antijokes? Because they can

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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What rhymes with 'stick' and is brown? A stick

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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