How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

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Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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Dislike this

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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What job did the black man apply for?.. Several, its a downward economy.

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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