how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

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24

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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your mom

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

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penis

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He died.

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What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Absolutely nothing considering millions of people perished and you people think its funny!

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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