What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

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What's big and fat? An obese man.

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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*insert joke here*

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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We are lawyers

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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